Developing Your Children

(Prov 20:11 GNB) Even children show what they are by what they do; you can tell if they are honest and good.

This morning we continue in the book of Proverbs. People say one thing and do another all the time. That's why in the New Testament Jesus said, "Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves." Jesus knew that many would come after Him who would say godly things with their lips, but would only do so with the intentions of leading people astray. These people may have had God on their lips, but He was certainly not in their heart.

Anyone can claim to be righteous, holy, godly, and etc.; but we have already learned in this series that 'claiming to be' and 'actually being' are not always the same. So what is the answer? How can we truly judge a person's character? Jesus goes on to say, "You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act."

Jesus is teaching us to give more credence to a person's actions than their words. Why? Because you can temporarily hide behind deceitful and deceptive words, but eventually who you really are will come our in your actions. You might be able to 'fake it' for a while, but what's in you abundantly will come out of you eventually. Jesus kept going and asked, "Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?" The obvious answer is no. So if a person claims to be an apple tree, wears apple tree paraphernalia, puts an apple tree quote on the bottom of their email signature block, and hangs an apple tree logo from the rear view mirror of their car, but spends all day producing oranges, then the reality is that this person is an orange tree. You can claim apples all you want, but if all you produce is oranges, then 'orange tree' is who you are.

Jesus closed out the conversation by saying, "A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can't produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can't produce good fruit" (verses 15-18). That's about as plain as it can be.

With that understanding we can get to Solomon's scripture for us this morning. While what I just shared with you is not new revelation, most people don't apply it to children. Solomon tells us, however, that we should. Even children, Solomon says, are known by what they do (their fruit). This can apply to the development of their character and to the identification of the gifts the Father has placed down inside of them. Let's talk gifts first. The future engineer is seen in the little handicraftsman of two years old. The little doctor is seen in the three year old walking around with a stethoscope around their neck. The future major league baseball player is often recognized before preschool. So in that sense it is incumbent upon us, as parents, to carefully observe our children and to develop the God-given desires they possess.

Now let's talk character. From a character development perspective we, as parents, have a Godly responsibility to feed the positive character traits we see in our children and to correct the negative ones. If our children are producing oranges today, and we want them to be apple trees, then it is our responsibility to cultivate the desire and development of apples in their lives.

So what does this mean to you? It means that we, as parents, must do what Solomon instructs us to do later in Proverbs: "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it" (22:6).

Father, I thank You for giving me the grace and perception, as a parent, to identify those things in my children that I should feed and nurture, and also those things that I should condemn and correct. I want my children to maximize their purpose and potential in life and I am committed to doing all I can to ensure that happens. I will do my part and I am convinced that You are committed to doing Yours. Together we will direct my children on the right path and when they are older, I am believing You that they will not leave it. In Jesus' name. Amen!