A Virtuous Wife

(Prov 12:4 GW) A wife with strength of character is the crown of her husband, but the wife who disgraces him is like bone cancer.

This morning we continue our series

In this verse Solomon contrasts the positive impact a wife of strength and character can have on her husband with the negative impact of a wife who brings him shame.

The Hebrew word translated "strength" in this text is the word chayil. This word is also translated: ability, efficiency and wealth. This is a wife to strong, able and competent. This wife helps promote the family vision and she understands the importance of a good name. Later in Proverbs Solomon said, "A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and gold" (22:1).

This wife understands the value of a good name and never does anything that would discredit her herself, her husband or her family. She is an asset and not a liability. She adds value to her family and becomes a source of strength, peace and encouragement for her husband. Other translations call her: "A worthy woman," "A virtuous woman," "An excellent wife."

To fully understand the goodness she brings to her husband, we need to take a look at the other side of the coin. Solomon says that the wife who disgraces her husband - who does things that brings shame upon her herself, her husband and her family - is like bone cancer. OUCH!!! Another translation says that she is like "Rottenness in his bones."

Her actions eat away at her husband from the inside-out. Bone cancer cannot be seen by others, but it can definitely be felt by the person who has it. Little-by-little they lose strength, mobility, agility, and eventually the affects of the physical condition begin to spill over to the person's psyche. Although they might put up a strong external façade, they are rotting away. The husband who has a wife that eats away her family tries to remain strong, he may put up an external façade, but eventually her deteriorating actions wreak havoc upon him and the entire family.

The Good News is that our goal is the opposite. Understanding the detrimental effects of the shameful wife helps us better appreciate the Blessing God has given us in our spouse. If the shameful wife eats away at her husband from the inside out, then the opposite is also true.
The virtuous wife becomes an everlasting well of power, strength and encouragement.

I am a wife and a woman of God. In addition I am a mother, a caring and capable nurse, and a reliable friend. I would like to think I am my husbands wind beneath his wings. He is second only to God in my life, I understand that my life's assignment is woven in with his and his with mine. We are partners in life's journey and I am where I am today - and I will be where I will be tomorrow - because of the husband that the Lord has blessed me with.

The greatest thing he does for me is believe in me. he supports the vision the Lord give me, he is understanding when I make mistakes (because we all do), and he provides that voice of reason I need. With all the failed and failing marriages in the world, we (as believers) should live our lives as examples of God's best in the earth.

So what does this mean to you today? To wives it means: realize who you are in God and who God has made you to be for your husband and family. Seek to be the everlasting well of strength and stability your husband and family need you to be.

To husbands it means: thank God for your wife. Brag on her today. Tell of the Blessing the Lord gave you in her. And treat her like the queen she is. I am going to do something a little different on the confession for today. I will give you different confessions. Confess that one that applies to you:

Confession for Husbands to confess over their Wives: Father, I thank You for my wife. I will love her, respect her, and appreciate the gift You gave me in her. I will never allow anything negative to proceed from out of my mouth about my wife. My wife is a jewel and an everlasting well of strength, stability, wisdom and encouragement for me and our family. I speak life over her body, her mind, and her heart. Bless her Father to continue to be the blessing she is and bless me Father to do all that I can to be a blessing to her. In Jesus' name. Amen!

Confession for Wives to confess over their Husbands: Father, I thank You for my husband. I declare, by faith, that I am the virtuous, worthy and excellent wife of strength of character that my husband and my family need me to be. I will never bring shame to my husband, to myself, nor to our family. Our family name will continue to be a name of honor and excellence. Help me Father to speak life into my husband, to build him up and never to tear him down. Thank you for the wisdom I need to be the wife, mother, and friend You need me to be. In Jesus' name. Amen!

Confession for Singles: Father, I thank for helping me to be secure in my state of singleness. I declare, by faith, that I develop into the person You need me to be and You help me to prepare to be the blessing my future spouse needs me to be. While You prepare me, I am peaceful, patient, and satisfied in my current state. I love who I am and I thank You continually for making me who I am. I don't need anyone else to complete me. I am complete, whole, and blessed - today and every day! If/when that time comes for me to connect in holy matrimony with other person I will be able to do so with full confidence that I am prepared to be the spouse You have destined, designed and desired for me to be! In Jesus' name. Amen!