Avoid Arguments

(Prov 17:14 NIrV) Starting to argue is like making a crack in a dam. So drop the matter before a fight breaks out.

Yesterday we talked about one-sided love. This morning we continue to flow in the vein of love. In yesterday’s message I quoted Romans 12:18 where Paul said, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” In the previous message (two days ago) I talked about avoiding foolish influences.

I received an email asking me if the two messages contradicted each other. Can we seek to live at peace with everyone while avoiding foolish influences? Absolutely. We can and we should. We are to love everyone, but that does not mean that we will like everything they do and that we should allow them into our inner circle. We can love someone, even while shielding ourselves from his or her foolishness. What we definitely need to avoid, like Solomon teaches us here, is allowing others to lure us into arguing and fighting. I like the analogy that Solomon uses. He tells us that the beginning of an argument is like a small crack in a dam. Now, when you see the word “dam” you may get a picture of the Hoover dam or something like it. While the dams of Solomon’s day were not as big, they were not tiny either.

Eastern cities often had a large tank or reservoir erected within or just outside of the city that held their water supply. Like any dam, if a small crack was made in the reservoir, then water obviously began to leak through. If the crack was not immediately corrected – and time was of the essence – the crack grew into a hole and the hole jeopardized the entire reservoir and everything around it. Before one knew it the entire mass of water could break through and destroy everything in its path. We have many modern day examples (like Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and the recent tsunami’s) that give us a clear picture of how destructive water can be. The sad part is that in Solomon’s example the damage could have been avoided if the small crack had been immediately repaired.

The message in all of this is to avoid arguing. What starts off as a single word spoken in anger can quickly erupt into a major fight. Once emotions are flared up people say things they will later regret and feelings get hurt. Like the old saying, “Sin will take you where you don’t want to go, make you stay longer than you want to stay, and spend more than you can afford.” So the best thing to do is to avoid sin altogether. In this case the counsel is to avoid arguments, because argument leads to bigger things. And as in the case of the crack, the argument must be squelched immediately. If the argument is not squashed right away, it can quickly get out of hand. Minor disputes have a way of growing to major proportions. So it is better to stop the dispute while dispute is still insignificant.

So what does this mean to you? It all comes down to walking in love. Love refuses to let an issue fester and if at all possible, love seeks to avoid disputes before they every get started. I will close with the words of Paul:

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life… Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift” (Eph 4:26, 27 & 29).

Father, I thank You for the reminder again this morning that You expect me to walk in love. I seek to live in peace with everyone and I refuse to allow myself to drawn into petty arguments. I avoid arguments altogether, but if one does start I will quickly squash it. I will not allow an argument to cause me to lose control of my emotions. I rule over my emotions and they do not rule over me. Even if I do get angry, I will never go to bed angry. I will resolve all issues quickly so that they do not develop into major catastrophes in my life. Walking in love helps me to live without undue stress and strife. Walking in love is awesome and I thank You for enabling me to do it by Your grace and with Your Spirit! In Jesus’ name. Amen!