Controlling Your Tongue and Temper

(Prov 17:27 NLT) A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.

Here Solomon shares a powerful proverb that lays out two characteristics of a wise man: he is a man of few words and he is able to control his temper. Let’s take a closer look at each:

1. Controlling your tongue: Solomon has already said a great deal about this and the Bible (in general) drives home the importance of choosing our words wisely. In chapter 12 Solomon said, “Smart people keep quiet about what they know, but stupid people advertise their ignorance” (v.23). If it is true that the wise man is able to hold his tongue and only speak the right words at the right time, then it is also true that the fool has no control over his tongue. The saying, “He can’t hold water,” applies to the fool. He is always flowing. His mouth is stuck in the “on” position. Just like the wise person is a person of few words, the fool speaks non-stop. There is a saying (attributed to too many people to give any one person credit) that says:

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

The fool speaks so much that everyone knows what they know, and the sad reality is that they don’t know much. Invariably their much speaking gets them in trouble. If you keep your mouth shut you will never put your foot in it. Dr. John Maxwell, when teaching on the laws of leadership, discusses what he calls the Law of E. F. Hutton. There was an old commercial that said, “When E. F. Hutton speaks everyone listens.” Why? Because he always had something worth saying. If you devalue your words then others will as well. Put the Law of E. F. Hutton to work in your life.

2. Controlling your temper: If a man looses control of his temper, especially in a professional setting, it paints a picture of a man that has lost control of himself. Just like unnecessary babbling will turn people off from what you have to say, a constant quick-temper will turn people off from you – PERIOD. People will avoid you, because they will never truly know which “you” they will encounter, the one that will listen and cooperate or the one that will fly off the handle. Not only that, if you are not in control of your temper, you will not be in control of your actions. In chapter 14 Solomon said,
“Short-tempered people do foolish things” (v.17) and “A hot temper shows great foolishness” (v.29). Later in Proverbs Solomon said, “A foolish person lets his anger run wild. But a wise person keeps himself under control” (29:11).

Solomon was a leader and he is sharing his Godly wisdom with us so that we can develop into Godly leaders as well. But you will never be able to effectively lead others if you cannot lead yourself. Ruling over your emotions is about leading yourself and doing it well. If you prove to the Father that you can lead yourself well, then He will give you opportunities to lead others. But if you don’t, then God won’t, because He is not going to open the doors of promotion, just so you can mistreat his people with your quick-temper.

So what does this mean to you? It means: 1) that you must be careful about what you say and how you say it. This way your words will matter to others, because they will realize how much they matter to you. And 2) it means that you must rule over your emotions, not allowing them to rule over you. You won’t go very far in leading others until you can lead yourself.

Father, I thank You for Your Word this morning. I receive it, process it, internalize it, and declare that I will allow it to effectuate a change in me. From this day forward, I declare, by faith, that I control my tongue and my temper daily. I listen carefully to what others have to say, I consider all aspects of the subject matter, and I carefully think through the ramifications of my conclusions BEFORE I speak. My words will matter to others because they matter to me. I also take control of my emotions. I maintain a peaceable and calm spirit daily. I never allow my emotions to cause me to act irrationally. No matter the situation, I remain cool, composed, and ready to deal with all that You allow me to face. In Jesus’ name. Amen!