Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Are you a Trustworthy Friend?

(Prov 11:12,13 NIV) A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

I pray you enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend. This morning we get back to our series. In this passage Solomon contrasts those who lack judgment with those who have understanding. When he says, “understanding” he is making a reference to the understanding of God’s way of doing things. These are people that operate in Godly wisdom. As we walk through the book of Proverbs (God’s Book of Wisdom), I pray you are gaining better understanding; that you are learning God’s ways of doing things. When you do you begin to make decisions that line up with God’s counsel (His Word) and you soon begin to see the manifestation of God’s best in your life.

Here Solomon tells us that those who lack judgment deride their neighbor. In one sense, this simply means that they ridicule them or constantly put them down, but other translations of this verse actually say, “slander.” Not only does the unwise person belittle his neighbor, but he goes to the extent of lying about him. He tears his neighbor down, not knowing that he is really sowing seeds of discord and deceit; seeds that will cause him to harvest the same.

You cannot sow discord and expect to live in peace. You cannot sow slander and expect to maintain a good reputation. You cannot sow ridicule and expect others to respect you. Yes, this man lacks judgment. He doesn’t understand God’s system and his ignorance will cost him dearly.

On the other hand, Solomon tells us that the man with understanding holds his tongue. Even when he sees something in someone else that he does not like, he resists the urge to ridicule his neighbor for it. Maybe its because he understands his own flaws. Maybe its because he realizes that God is in the business of making holy garments out of flawed material. Maybe its because he knows how far he has come and he acknowledges the fact that he only made it there by God’s grace.

Yes, those who are mature in God are less likely to be judgmental, because the closer you get to God, the less you think of yourself; the more you realize that you are where you are by God’s grace, goodness, kindness and mercy. A person that understands his or her own flaws is NOT quick to point out someone else’s.

Solomon then tells us that a gossip betrays confidence. Not only does the man who lacks judgment talk about his neighbor, but when his neighbor actually opens up and confides in him, he quickly shares those inner secrets with others. In addition to slandering his neighbor’s name, he takes it a step further and violates his neighbor’s confidence.

This is a terrible thing. As a minister, I know first-hand how awesome it is to be there for a person who needs someone to confide in. People have poured their heart out to me countless times. If I took that what they said and spread it like gossip, not only would it be a violation of their confidence, but it would also be a violation of God’s confidence in me.

So what does this mean? A few quick things:
1. When you understand your flaws you are more apt to look past the flaws of others.

2. Never violate another’s confidence. If you do, you will also be violating God’s confidence in you.

3. A trustworthy man keeps a secret and covers his friends.

4. Hold you tongue. Your tongue can easily get you in trouble. The more you know about God, the less foolish talk you speak.

Father, I thank You for Your wisdom. I apply Your wisdom to every area of my life. I am a man of truth and understanding. I realize that I have been forgiven, so I am quick to forgive. I know You have looked past my flaws, so I look past the flaws of others. I am here to be a blessing and not a curse, so I will use my tongue to build up and never to tear down. I cover my friends, by never repeating what they tell me in confidence. I declare, by faith, that I am a trustworthy and loyal friend; always ready to help and never to hurt! In Jesus’ name. Amen.

No comments:

Post a Comment