Guarding Your Heart and Your Lips
(Prov 10:18 NIV) He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.
In this text Solomon contrasts those who conceal their hatred with those who openly spread slander. This is somewhat of a departure for Solomon, in that his previous comparisons have been between good and evil, righteous and unrighteous, godly and wicked. In this case, both are in the wicked category. They are, however, different types of wickedness.
The first person Solomon mentions is the person who harbors hatred in their heart towards others. If that were not bad enough, this person refuses to address the issue. He never openly confesses his dislike or distrust for the other person, but rather seeks to conceal his true feelings with flattery.
He pretends to be a friend, and outwardly behaves as one, but inwardly carries a root of bitterness.
Every time he has an encounter with the person or whenever the person’s name comes up in a conversation, he conceals his hatred with lying lips. There are many things wrong with this situation. First of all, as believers, we are commanded – not suggested – to love. Now, does that mean we are going to like everything others do? No. But dislike should not lead to disdain.
You can dislike a person’s ways and still love them. You can disagree without being disagreeable. The point is that as believers this simply should not be. The Bible gives us guidance on how to deal with conflict and we should love our brother enough to resolve any conflict quickly. Harboring unforgiveness in our heart becomes a detriment to our personal development and a hindrance to our prayer life. Not to mention that lying about it compounds the issue.
The second person Solomon mentions is the one who openly slanders others. Solomon calls him a fool. Our lips should be used to build up, not to tear down. Unlike the first man, who bites his lip instead of saying his what he really feels, this man’s mouth is stuck in the “ON” position.
He publically expresses his dislike for others; seeking to deprecate, defame, and discredit them openly. He has no care or concern for their well being or their public status. His only goal to speak negatively about the person he dislikes and he will lie if he has to. Fabricating stories is not off-limits to this person and before you know it, they have a hard time differentiating between what is true and false in their own minds. He is a fool because he thinks he is destroying the other person, but he is actually destroying himself. He is sowing seeds of discord and eventually, he will reap what he sows.
So what does this mean ? A few things:
1. Be quick to Forgive: Jesus said, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." [But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.] (Mark 11:25,26).
2. Use your lips to Bless, not Curse: Paul said, “Don't let any evil talk come out of your mouths. Say only what will help to build others up and meet their needs. Then what you say will help those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
3. Walk in Love with God and Man: Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength… Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." (Matthew 12:30,31).
Father, I thank You for Your Word. Your Word has taught me this morning to guard my heart and my lips. I guard my heart from bitterness, malice, hatred, and strife. I guard my lips from lies and destructive words. I use my lips to build up and never to tear down. If I have an unresolved issue with my brother, I will seek a quick resolution. And even before the resolution, I will keep from defaming my brother with careless words. Father, I love You with all my heart and I love my neighbor as myself. I walk in love daily and I am quick to forgive. In Jesus’ name. Amen!
(Prov 10:18 NIV) He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.
In this text Solomon contrasts those who conceal their hatred with those who openly spread slander. This is somewhat of a departure for Solomon, in that his previous comparisons have been between good and evil, righteous and unrighteous, godly and wicked. In this case, both are in the wicked category. They are, however, different types of wickedness.
The first person Solomon mentions is the person who harbors hatred in their heart towards others. If that were not bad enough, this person refuses to address the issue. He never openly confesses his dislike or distrust for the other person, but rather seeks to conceal his true feelings with flattery.
He pretends to be a friend, and outwardly behaves as one, but inwardly carries a root of bitterness.
Every time he has an encounter with the person or whenever the person’s name comes up in a conversation, he conceals his hatred with lying lips. There are many things wrong with this situation. First of all, as believers, we are commanded – not suggested – to love. Now, does that mean we are going to like everything others do? No. But dislike should not lead to disdain.
You can dislike a person’s ways and still love them. You can disagree without being disagreeable. The point is that as believers this simply should not be. The Bible gives us guidance on how to deal with conflict and we should love our brother enough to resolve any conflict quickly. Harboring unforgiveness in our heart becomes a detriment to our personal development and a hindrance to our prayer life. Not to mention that lying about it compounds the issue.
The second person Solomon mentions is the one who openly slanders others. Solomon calls him a fool. Our lips should be used to build up, not to tear down. Unlike the first man, who bites his lip instead of saying his what he really feels, this man’s mouth is stuck in the “ON” position.
He publically expresses his dislike for others; seeking to deprecate, defame, and discredit them openly. He has no care or concern for their well being or their public status. His only goal to speak negatively about the person he dislikes and he will lie if he has to. Fabricating stories is not off-limits to this person and before you know it, they have a hard time differentiating between what is true and false in their own minds. He is a fool because he thinks he is destroying the other person, but he is actually destroying himself. He is sowing seeds of discord and eventually, he will reap what he sows.
So what does this mean ? A few things:
1. Be quick to Forgive: Jesus said, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." [But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.] (Mark 11:25,26).
2. Use your lips to Bless, not Curse: Paul said, “Don't let any evil talk come out of your mouths. Say only what will help to build others up and meet their needs. Then what you say will help those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
3. Walk in Love with God and Man: Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength… Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." (Matthew 12:30,31).
Father, I thank You for Your Word. Your Word has taught me this morning to guard my heart and my lips. I guard my heart from bitterness, malice, hatred, and strife. I guard my lips from lies and destructive words. I use my lips to build up and never to tear down. If I have an unresolved issue with my brother, I will seek a quick resolution. And even before the resolution, I will keep from defaming my brother with careless words. Father, I love You with all my heart and I love my neighbor as myself. I walk in love daily and I am quick to forgive. In Jesus’ name. Amen!
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